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Contents
When
to Start
Younger
vs. Older Teens
Let's
Talk
A
Patchwork Program
I
Don't Want to Leave Home
Stay
at Home Summer
Time
to Switch?
Counselor
in Training
Something
Different
With
or Without Friends?
Volunteering
Working
For Pay
Teen
Tours and Adventures
Ready
For a Tour?
How To
Choose
The
Nitty-Gritty
Check
It Out
Peer
Pressure
Ya
need to Know
Sex, Money,
Laundry,Packing, Communication
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Teen Summer
Camps
Travel Adventures -Summer Fun
in Adolescence
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While
choosing the right summer activity for a teen may
be more complicated than selecting a general
interest camp for a younger child, the rewards can
be even richer. A teenager is in the midst of an
incredible growth spurt. There is a literal
physical change that you may see when your teen
arrives home, but equally important are the
emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and social
changes that a challenging summer program can
produce in a child in this age group. Although
finding the right summer program for teens is
different than finding a program for a nine year
old, some of the basics are the same: you still
want a safe, secure, and appropriate environment.
However, teenagers need and are ready for new
challenges and greater independence. As your child
matures, you may find that you need to reexamine
your choice each year as his interests
expand.
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When
to Start
If you're living
with a teenager, you're living with part kid and
part adult. Planning a Teen Smmer Program in
November may be more difficult for an adolescent
than a younger child, because your teenager's
interests and emotions are going through such
enormous changes. However, because many good
programs fill up fast, you will want to try to
focus early so that you and your child have the
widest range of choices.
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Younger
vs. Older Teens
It is important
to keep in mind when choosing a program for teens
that the needs, interests, and abilities of a 13
year-old are quite different from that of a 17
year-old. When considering programs, you should
also keep in mind your child's maturity as well.
Parents often express concern about the level of
supervision in many of the programs designed for
teens.
While teen programs impose
curfews, campers may have greater independence of
movement during the day. You need to determine if
your child is ready for that kind of freedom before
deciding what program to go with.
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Let's
Talk
The best way to
start your search for a summer program is to sit
down and talk with your child. Searching for a good
summer program is a way to strengthen your
relationship with your teen. This is an opportunity
to discuss with your child his interests, concerns,
and values. You need to talk with your teen about
what each of you want the summer to
be.
Before you begin to talk,
make it clear that you really want to hear the true
answer, not what your teen thinks that you want to
hear. Listen carefully to what your teen is telling
you. His views and yours may not be as
irreconcilable as they initially appear. If you
model respectful behavior for his views, it's
likely that he will respond in kind. The obvious
place to begin is with the question: What do you
want to do this summer? Write down his goals and
your goals on a piece of paper so that you can mix
and match responses.
Be prepared in case your
child's first response is 'nothing'. Your child may
also say that he wants to do something exciting,
hang out at the mall, be with his friends, get a
good tan, or may simply say that he doesn't know.
Even if these are your child's goal, you may be
able to find a good program that meets his needs
and yours as well.
You should also share with
your child what you think that he should accomplish
this summer. You may feel that your child
needs:
- Exercise
- To explore interests on a
more challenging level
- To study at a college
level
- To see the world,
country, or region
- To
volunteer
- To earn
money
- SAT/ACT
preparation
- To relax after a
stressful school year
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A
Patchwork Program
One of the best
ways to reconcile your goals with your child's is
to piece together the summer with activities from
both of your lists. Although it is more difficult
and figuring things out may be more time consuming,
your teen will get a broader experience for your
work.
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I
Don't Want to Leave Home
One of the major
issues may be if your teen wants to leave home at
all for the summer. Even if your child has spent
many years at sleepaway camp, they may decide that
they want to spend the summer at home to be around
friends. You need to explore the reasons that your
child wants to stay at home, and how those will
affect both her and your summer plans. The primary
question is 'What will she do if she stays home?"
You also need to consider how her decision will
impact your family life. Consider the
following:
- If she drives, will she
need access to a car to get to summer
activities?
- If she doesn't drive,
will she need a parent to provide
transportation?
- If your child's at home
summer job, volunteer activity, or program is
not full time, will he need additional
supervision if there are no adults at home
during the day?
- What will he do when he
is not engaged in the summer
activity?
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Stay
at Home Summer
If you decide
that your teen will choose a local program, it is
important to establish summer rules, expectation,
chores, and schedules. This will be especially
important if this will be the first summer in years
that your youngster is spending at
home.
Setting Summer Rules
Parenting a teen
is a judgment call. Some families have very strict
rules, while others have a more open approach. Most
of us know both types of families, and have seen
success, and failure, with both styles. Though you
do not need to suddenly make up rules that you
haven't previously had, you'll want to think
through what you expect and lay out the ground
rules so that the summer isn't a surprise for you
or your teen. You should consider the following
areas of possible conflict and decide how you want
to handle these issues.
Curfew
Now that school
is out, you need to consider what is a reasonable
time for your teen to be at home. Although you have
probably given up a bedtime, you want to know where
your teen is and with whom. You also want to know
that he's in the house at a certain time. You will
want to establish a curfew that works for everyone
in the family. Even if he doesn't have to be up in
the morning, you do, and a curfew can be a
convenient excuse for a teen to leave an
uncomfortable social situation.
Chores
If your teen is
going to be around the house some or all of the
day, count on higher food bills and more dishes in
the sink. You should make your expectations about
cleanup and chores clear. Do you expect your teen
to assume more household responsibility during the
summer than during the school year? What about
babysitting younger siblings? Will you pay your
teen or not? Work out the parameters of any
employment relationship with your teen before the
job starts.
Friends
One of the main
attractions for your teen to stay at home is the
opportunity to be with friends. Do you want to have
rules about how many friends, if any, can be in the
house when no adults are home? Some parents are
comfortable with their teens have friends over
without adult supervision. Others may want to set
limits on the number of friends or whether or not
friends of the opposite sex can be in the house
when no adults are present. Other parents may have
rules about specific friends that they would rather
not have over when they are not
home.
Cleanup
Without cleanup
rules, you may come home from work every evening to
a full garbage can and a sink full of dishes.
Figure out what works for your family. If you set
some basic rules, it teaches your teen
responsibility, an important life
lesson.
Transportation
Consider how much
transportation you will have to provide for your
child and his or her choice of summer activities at
home. Is public transportation available and safe?
Is your teen comfortable using the public transit
system on her own? You may also consider paying a
local teen to provide car service, carpools, or
walking or biking. Don't let transportation limit
your teen's choice of summer program. Find the
program and then find a solution.
Academic Expectations
Although school
may be closed, that doesn't mean that your child
shouldn't crack a book over the summer. Make sure
that even if your child's school doesn't require
summer reading or journaling, your child spends
some time on academically enriching
activities.
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Time
to Switch? Maybe Not
Many traditional
summer camps offer programs for children to the age
of 15 or 16, so for early teens, continuing to
return to the same camp may not only be right, but
also reassuring to the child. If your teen wants to
return to camp, think before insisting on something
new. Adolescence is difficult, and the comfort of
being with old friends might be just what your
child needs. Camp may be a safe refuge for a few
more years. For the younger teen, the camp program
should involve greater challenges and new
activities for your child. You want your child to
use the familiar setting and friends to give him
the confidence to take new chances and assume more
responsibility.
Counselor
in Training/Waiter
Many summer camps
offer older teens, from 15-17, the opportunity to
serve as junior counselors or counselors in
training (CITs). Other camps may allow teens to
work as waiters or kitchen help. Generally, parents
will continue to pay tuition at a reduced rate. The
campers may receive a small stipend or gift at the
end of the summer. If your teen has had a great
time at camp, this is one way to continue the
adventure. But you and your teen should discuss
with the camp director the duties and schedule of
CITs or kitchen help. You want to make sure that
the camp is not going to give your child too much
responsibility too fast or overburden your child
with duties that are inappropriate for his age.
However, you should make clear to your teen that he
will be expected to act responsibly and to take his
job seriously. You will also want to ask about the
supervision and free time that your child will be
given. Before enrolling your child
ask:
- What will be the teen's
responsibilities?
- Who will supervise him
when he is working and during free
time?
- Who will be his
coworkers?
- What happens if he
doesn't like his assignment?
- Do the teens participate
in the regular camp activities?
There are both advantages and
disadvantages to participating in these types of
programs. Advantages include:
- The camper returns to a
familiar environment with
friends.
- The camper has
opportunity to learn responsibility and gain
work experience.
- Work experience can
bolster a teens résumé in the
future.
- Some camps increase the
first year salary of counselors who have
participated in the CIT program.
- The teen learns about
working with children, techniques for solving
problems, and sensitivity
triaing.
- The teen is enrolled in a
safe, secure, environment for the
summer.
Disadvantages
include:
- Parents must still pay
camp fees, even though the teen is
working.
- CITs/Waiters may be
undersupervised.
- The teen may not take the
job seriously since his parents are paying for
the experience.
- The teen returns to a
safe, familiar environment instead of trying
something new.
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Something
Different
If your child is
eager to try something new, you feel that the
supervision or offerings at camp are inadequate, if
your child is now too old for his former camp, or
you think that it's time for your teen to earn some
money, then there are lots of choices. Over the
teen years, you may try several experiences. Your
teen may choose to switch several times not because
an experience was bad, but because at their age,
the adventure of trying something new is half of
the fun. The range of possibilities is limited only
by your imagination and your budget. Options
include a wide variety of teen tours here and
abroad, volunteer opportunities, academic programs,
and summer jobs at home.
Before you open the first
brochure, you should focus on what you want your
teen to get from the summer. Even if cost is not a
consideration, the most expensive program is not
necessarily the best for your child. When choosing
a summer teen program you should:
- Have realistic
expectations of what the program can
accomplish.
- Make sure that your child
doesn't expect the summer to transform her.
While it may, you shouldn't enter the program
with that thought.
- Make sure that both you
and your teen are willing to participate in the
program. When you enroll an unwilling adolescent
you are asking for problems. It is normal for
teens to worry about new situations, but if they
are doing the program to please you, the
potential for disaster rises
greatly.
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With
or Without Friends?
When you are making a
choice of programs for your child, one question
that may pos up is whether she should go alone or
with a friend. Though your teen may be more willing
to try a new adventure if accompanied by a friend,
some children welcome the opportunity to go alone
and escape the typecasting that teens assign each
other. You and your teen must talk frankly and
openly about this issue. Some programs may ask that
teens who sign up together bunk in different tents
so that they will reach out and find new friends.
You should check with the program director about
how they encourage new friendships and minimize the
effect of cliques.
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Volunteering
For the Younger Teen
One way to fill a
young adolescent's summer is to establish a
volunteering schedule so that he is busy at least
part of every day. Most volunteer opportunities for
younger teens are found within the community, so
the teen can become more independent and not rely
on a parent as much for transportation. Children as
young as thirteen can provide volunteer service
by:
- Reading to younger
students
- Mowing, raking, or
clearing sidewalks for neighborhood senior
citizens
- Beautification/environmental
cleanup
- Running errands for the
housebound
- Baking or preparing
simple meals for those in need
- Helping at a soup kitchen
or food pantry
- Tutoring
For the Older Teen
The more mature
teen can go farther in search of a volunteer
experience. In addition to the jobs above, several
organizations look for teens for volunteer work.
You may want to research organizations such as
Habitat for Humanity, The Student Conservation
Association, Volunteers for Peace, or Landmark
Volunteers.
Every community has needs for
volunteers. Even if there isn't an established
volunteer program, you teen can offer his services
to local hospitals, ambulance corps, firehouses,
homeless shelters and soup kitchens, or literacy
programs at the library.
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Working
For Pay
Paying jobs can
be a great learning experience and give your
student a little financial independence. While
teens are ready and eager for work experience, jobs
may be hard to find. Younger teens, under the age
of sixteen, will probably need working papers in
order to hold a job. Generally you can get these
from the school guidance office. Your teen will
need your permission, and proof of age. Federal
labor laws limit the number of hours 14 and 15 year
olds can work, and other state laws may apply.
Teens who want to get a paying summer job must
think ahead. Encourage your teen to think about
summer jobs before school lets out.
Where To Find a Job
Finding a job for
a teen is tough. Traditional jobs include day camp
counselors, mother's helper, office temps, and lawn
work. Some good places to look include newspaper
ads, the youth employment office, office temp
businesses, community bulletin boards, and family
friends. Encourage your teen to start looking at
least by May. If your teen is willing to work part
time during the school year, he may be a more
attractive applicant.
How much is too much?
If your student
starts working before school ends or chooses to
keep working when school starts again, keep a
careful eye on how much she works. Research shows
that students who work more than 20 hours a week
were more likely to have lower grades, feel more
detached from their family, and have a higher rate
of alcohol and drug use. You should remind your
student that school is her full time job, and make
sure that she doesn't cut corners academically to
work, take fewer challenging courses, or sacrifice
other extracurricular activities.
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Teen
Tours and Adventures
The summer
opportunities for teen trips and adventures are
nearly endless. As with any other summer
opportunity, there are both advantages and
disadvantages. Advantages include:
- An opportunity to visit
and explore new places and meet new
people.
- Tours may offer teens
unique physical and intellectual
challenges.
- Teens learn
responsibility for themselves and belongings.
Some trips may also require teens to cook some
meals.
- Trips can expose teens to
experiences they wouldn't have
otherwise.
- Finishing a program can
build self-esteem and
self-confidence.
- Teens learn group
dynamics and cooperation.
- Teens try out greater
freedom and independence while
supervised.
- Teens may develop
life-long friendships.
Disadvantages
include:
- ours are expensive, so
the diversity of participants may be
limited.
- There may be too little
supervision.
- Some tours are more a
social exercise than a
challenge.
Is
Your Teen Ready For a Tour?
Before you get
down to choosing a program, you need to be sure
that your child is ready for this type of program.
You need to be realistic about your teens
personality and readiness. There are five questions
that you should ask yourself:
- Does your teen want to go
on this type of trip? If your teen is unsure,
you may want to look for another activity. These
trips are expensive and demanding. Though your
teen may be apprehensive, you want to hear that
she is looking forward to the challenge and is
interested. You must find a trip that matches
your child's personality and
interest.
- Is your teen flexible?
These programs are fairly physically demanding.
If your child finds travel and change difficult
or takes a long time to adjust to new situations
and people, then a tour may be difficult and
less enjoyable. While a shy type can enjoy a
teen tour, you will want to discuss your child's
personality with the tour
directors.
- Can your child meet the
physical demands of the trip? Here you just need
to be realistic. If the trip includes a lot of
hiking, biking, mountain climbing or camping,
your teen must be willing, eager, and in good
enough shape to participate. If your child gets
motion sickness easily, consider trips which
involve long bus rides
carefully.
- Is your teen mature and
responsible enough to handle the independence of
a teen tour? How mature is your teen's decision
making? Can he withstand peer pressure? Some
programs give teens more freedom than they have
at home. You need to know how your child will
react to this kind of freedom.
- Is your teen organized?
Your teen will be responsible for packing and
unpacking their belongings at several
locations.
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How
To Choose
With the large
number of programs out there, it can be daunting to
choose. You should narrow the search by first
deciding how much you want to spend, how long your
child can be away, and how far your teen can
travel.
Teen tours can run between
2,000 and 10,000 dollars when you include tuition,
airfare, spending money and souvenirs. Some shorter
programs are less expensive, but financial aid is
rarely available for these programs.
You may want or need a trip
of a certain length to make room for other summer
activities for your teen. Your child may want to
attend sports clinics, spend time volunteering, or
you may be planning a family
vacation.
Time and money limit how far
your teen can travel. It is important to understand
your teen's preferences as well as your own. If
your child is hesitant about the destination, you
should look for another program. With the large
range of options available, there is likely on that
travels to the right places for the right length of
time.
You will want to begin your
search through word of mouth, web searches,
guidance counselors, ads, camp fairs, and resource
books. Narrow your search by the type of tour you
and your child want: indoors or out, city or
country. Don't try to turn your child into
something he is not. While you can expose your
child to new opportunities and adventures, keep
your expectations realistic.
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The
Nitty-Gritty
For each program
you research, you'll want the answer to several
questions. Make sure to ask the following questions
in each category.
Group Size and
Organization
- How many teens are on the
tour?
- How many
adults?
- If the tour is broken
into smaller groups, how many teens are in each
group, with what kind of
supervision?
- Do the groups stay
together the whole trip or are they reorganized
to encourage friendships?
- What is the age range of
the participants?
- If coed, do girls get the
same opportunities as boys? Are the
responsibilities on camping trips assigned
without gender bias? How do the leaders handle
trip romances?
Method of
Transportation
- How does the trip travel
from one site to another?
- How far does the trip
travel in any one day?
- If by bus, what kind of
coach? Are there bathrooms on
board?
- If by bike, raft, or
foot, what happens if there is bad weather? What
if a teen doesn't feel well?
- If by train or plane,
does the group sit together? What kind of planes
are used?
Living
Accommodations
- What kind of
accommodations: hotels, tents, dorms, youth
hostels?
- What kind of supervision
is there once the group is in housing? Are there
leaders on every floor?
- If a coed tour, are girls
and boys assigned to different floors? What kind
of supervision is there?
Curfews
- How are the rules
enforced?
- Are there room checks?
When and by whom?
Spending
Money
- How much should be
sent?
- Is the teen responsible
for sending the money?
- What is best: cash,
traveler's checks, or credit
cards?
- What if the teen runs
out? Are there emergency loans or advances from
the tour?
- Do any kind of controls
exist on how money is spent?
- What do most participants
buy during the trip?
Tour
Leaders
- How long has the company
been in business?
- What are the credentials
of the chaperons of each trip? How old are the
chaperones?
- How often has the company
been running the specific tour that your are
interested in?
Supervision
- How closely are the teens
supervised?
- Are teens allowed to tour
areas with out a chaperone, meeting at the end
of the day? What areas, if any, are they allowed
to tour without a chaperone?
Medical
Emergencies
- How does the tour handle
an emergency if not in a metropolitan
area?
- How will the parents be
notified if an emergency arises?
- Will the leaders insist
on a plastic surgeon if stitches are
required?
- Can a teen rejoin the
tour if hurt?
Mail/Communication
Home
- How and when can you
communicate with your child?
- Are there any
restrictions on calls or mail? Some tours don't
permit parents to write because coordinating
mail drops can be difficult.
- If there are mail
restrictions, how does the trip handle
birthdays?
- How should your child
call home: calling card, prepaid phone card, or
collect?
- For wilderness or outdoor
trips, what kind of communication setup is there
for emergencies?
Meals
- How many meals are part
of the plan?
- How often does the tour
hit fast food restaurants?
- At restaurants, can the
teens choose off the menu, or is the meal
planned?
- How much choice in meals
do participants have?
- What about teens with
special diets or vegetarians?
- For programs where teens
help cook, how elaborate is the
menu?
Equipment
- Who provides any
necessary equipment?
- Is a specific brand
recommended?
- If you need to provide a
bike, who puts the bike together? Is a specific
model required?
- How are equipment repairs
handled once the trip is
started?
Laundry
- Who is
responsible?
- How often is it
done?
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Check
It Out
You must make
sure to invest the time in a thorough evaluation of
each program that you consider. You can't rely only
on the promotional materials, you must make sure to
call the parents of previous participants and ask
questions before you enroll your child. Good trips
will provide you with references of participants
from the previous year. You want references to be
as recent as possible. You should try to call a
number of families, up to ten, to get a broad range
of opinions. If you hear an issue raised a number
of times, you should raise the point with the tour
leaders. The decision is not necessarily a question
of right or wrong, but what you are comfortable
with for your teen.
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Peer
Pressure
Adolescent peer
pressure can be intense, especially in new groups.
You should talk about the issues of drugs, alcohol,
sex, and breaking curfew. Explain to your teen that
pranks that may seem innocent or harmless can be
dangerous or illegal. Ask your child to use her
best judgment and to step back when she is tempted
to do something that is wrong, dangerous, or
illegal. On these trips, some teens are tempted to
pierce ears or other body parts, bleach or dye
their hair, or get tattoos. Talk about the need to
think decisions through thoroughly with your teen,
and make your expectations known.
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What
Your Teen Needs to Know
Before your teen
leaves on his first trip or tour, you should review
several issues. Many of these are topics that you
have discussed before, but it is important to
revisit them. Your teen will be away from home, in
a new situation with new people, and possibly more
freedom than ever before.
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Sex
You've probably
already have had conversations with your child
about sex, but it's smart to talk about it again
before your child embarks on their adventure.
Generally, teen tour groups develop close
friendships rather than romances, but some teens
still develop relationships while traveling. Talk
about personal values, responsibility, and
caution.
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Money
A valuable lesson
learned from a teen trip is how to budget money.
Your child's spending money needs to last the
length of the trip. Before your child leaves, have
him develop a list of anticipated expenses. Build
in a reserve fund for the unexpected. Discuss how
your teen will carry the money. Review tipping
customs and practice on restaurant bills, and
remind your child to double-check bills in stores
and restaurants. Tell your teen keep money
discreet. If you are giving your child a credit
card, discuss with your child what are appropriate
uses.
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Communication
Make an agreement
with your teen about how often he will call or
write home. Check with tour leaders for advice on
specific days and times, so that you know when you
can expect a call. Even if your teen is not much of
a correspondent, you should continue to write if
the trip permits mail to give your teen a link to
home. If you give your child a prepaid phone card,
agree on how it should be used. Can your child call
friends as well as family?
Laundry
Review laundry
basics with your child before she leaves. Make your
expectations for laundry and basic hygiene as clear
as you can.
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Packing
For a teen trip,
it is especially important to teach your child how
to pack and unpack efficiently, as she will be
responsible for her own belongings. Spreading
clothes over the hotel floor increases the
likelihood of something getting lost. Have her pack
her own luggage for the trip. Make a list of what
she is taking. Keep one copy at home and put one in
the luggage. Follow the suggestions of the trip
leaders on the type and amount of clothing. Items
that need ironing or special care are not
practical. Advise your child on the special care
and protection that her belongings may need
depending on the location of the
trip.
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Coming
Home
Reentry to the
household for a teen can be tricky. Your teen has
been living a much more independent life and may be
reluctant to follow family rules. Use gentle humor
to confront your teen when he stretches or breaks
the rules. Remember that one of the reasons that
you sent your teen was to build his self confidence
and independence. If the trip has accomplished
these goals, itÄôs likely that
your teen will want to exercise some of that
independence at home. If your teen has earned your
trust and shows good judgement, you may want to
relax some of the rules.
Your childadolescence
can be both a trying and rewarding period. Choosing
the right summer program can give both of you a
respite from the difficulties of growing up.
Support and guide your teenÄôs
summer choice so that it provides him with
opportunities for growth emotionally, socially,
physically, and intellectually.
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